


Doki Doki Gray

by Leninouche



Category: Dorian Gray - Fandom, Harry Potter - Fandom, The Picture of Dorian Gray
Genre: Dorian Gray - Freeform, Hogwarts, M/M, Multi, Ok so this is something I wrote for my bookclub, basil hallward - Freeform, dumbledor - Freeform, henry wotton - Freeform, i literally publish this only to pretend it is a genuine fanfiction, i repeat nothing, it is essentially a dorian gray fanfic and was inspired by my immortal, it is utter trash, nothing is serious, sybil vane - Freeform, this is also way too long, trashfic, what should i even tag this, whicj tells you everything you need to know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-13 09:24:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17485529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leninouche/pseuds/Leninouche
Summary: A My Immortal-inspired fanfiction about Dorian Gray in Hogwarts.





	1. Chapter 1~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Konnichiwa! My name is Sashimi Katana Yuki-chan and I am 16 years old and a student at Hogwarts the English Wizard School of England! My house is Hufflepuff and I am sooo happy to be here bc Hufflepuffle is so fluffy and therefore fits me super! You might have noticed that I like Japanese words, but not only that! I looove the japanese culture in general, that‘s why I changed my name to Sashimi Katana Yuki-chan. No, I will not tell you my old name xD. But you can call me Sashimi-chan! (Or senpai hehe) I actually identify as Japanese as well so pls respect that, sank chuuu. ^^/ 

Anyway today we have our first day bacc at Hogwarts and I am super duper hyped! I will see my super lovely friends again, they all have top grades and are the best in school and we totally are the coolest in this school and the only ones who rlly read books AND understand them hehe (thats yallzzz book club!yaas books sugoi desu nee!)  
I enter the great hall and sit at the Hufflepuff table. There is already a boy called Basil, I call him Baesil because he is just so kawaii and soft >< We are bffs.  
´hi Baesil. How were your holidays? I hope sugoi!´  
´hello Sashimi. They were good. I painted.`  
Baesil always paints or draws, he is really good at it. And he also draws Manga yeeey! ^^/  
Especially yaoi gehe, blush, and he gives me drawings when he´s done. I love my sinning bbys >///<  
One day he want to be a magical painter and create pictures that come alive.  
´cool!´  
Just then my friends come in and come over to my table. We are all in Huffle, yaay! They sit down and we wait a bit until everyone was there and then Dumbledor (Senpaiiiiiiii) came up and spoke.  
´Welcome to Hogwarts! I hope this year will be super teaching and fun for you.´  
He shot us all a smile and his teeth blinked in the candlelight.  
And then everyone clapped.  
The tables suddenly were full of yummy food and my friends and I screeched excitedly.  
‚Itadakimasuu!‘  
We ate a bit, i ate much cake because I really love cake! Then I remembered something.  
´Oh, minna-saan! I nearly forgot!´  
I opened my pastel-blue leather bag that I always have with me and gave everyone a glittery flower-crown in yellow and black. Thy were all super happy and giggled but suddenly Dumbledoor spoke again.  
´Hey, i forgot to tell you that we will have a new student. baka me. His name is…. Dorian Gray and he comes from Beauxbatons, the french wizarding school of france.´  
there was silence and everyone waited for the new boy to appear but nothing happened.   
Then suddenly the gate slammed open and blinding light screamed into the hall. Everyone shielded their eyes and when we looked again there were red roses raining from the sky!   
Two boys stood in the door.  
ONE WAS HENRy Wotton the Slytherin Lord, people call him, he is super mean and bad and no one likes him. Except for the emo slytherins of course -_-. Also he cheats on his girlfriend Victoria who is a Hufflepuff1!!1 Super no-go!!  
The other boy no one knew. We alll gasped.   
He was suuuper pretty and perfect, I felt my heart doki doki in my chest and let out a giggle, blushing very hard. He was literally a prince!  
He wore a Hogwartts Uniform but it was dark-scarlet and had black lace all over it, he also wore a flower-white button up shirt with ruffles and a bowtie around the pale neck and black pants and knee high boots (nose bleed, there is my SON). He looked a bit like Levi from Shingeki no kyojin but with shiny and angel-like blonde hair! And sky-blue eyes. Like a summer sky. With no clouds…  
I squealed loudly and grabbed Baesil´s arm then looked at his face. He looked at the stranger with wide eyes and a pale blush and sparkles in his irises.  
´Doki-doki´  
I WHISPERED into his ear and he jumped and became red like a tomato.  
´Wh- wha—? n-no!´  
I giggled and looked up at the new guy just as he passed me by. Our eyes met and-  
I blushed and gasped. He stopped and looked at me, then smiled beautifully and took my hand and kissed it! >////<  
´Hi.´He said sexily. (jfnjfndkvsd so schmexyyyy xDDDD) ´I´m Dorian Gray. You´re cute.´  
My friends gasped but baesil looked sadly at me, then turned away. I didn‘t notice however because I was so obsessed with Dorian!  
Henry grabbed Dorian‘s arm and pulled him away from me, meanie, and towards the Slytherin table.  
‚Guyssss.... I think I‘m in love!!“  
I whispered to my friends with red cheeks. We all giggled excitedly.


	2. Chapter 2〜 (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

AN: evrbody STOPPPPP bein so mean and sayin this is like this stupid my immortal ff ÒwÓ MI is baka gofs and no un liks them so SHHHHHHH this ff is super cute and fluffy n i don COPY!!!!  
Also fanks at bookclub for readin this I know its tortur eheehheeh >.>)

The next day I woke up and got ready. I remembered the dinner from yesterday and Dorian kissing my hand! Ahhh!!! I wore the Hogwarts schooluniform but i had magicked it to be pastel-pink and I wore a yellow beret that matched my yellow-and-back tie and white kneesocks that said cute on them. Quickly I went into the great hall and sat down beside Baesil, smiling a thim happily.  
´Good Morning Ba-chan! Did you sleep well?´  
´Yes.´  
We ate toast and eggs and I had coffee with much much milk. I glanced at my friend, feeling like he was angery with me...  
´So.. Dorian seems to like you already?´  
BAesil looked up and stared at me. I blushed.  
´What? No.. what... nooo heheh... what...´  
I waved my hand and laughed embarrassedly.  
´Hm.´  
We finished and then silently made our way to the Potions classroom, we always had potions with Slytherin which meant… I would see Dorian! >/////////< Squeak! We entered the room and sat at our places, I looked around but didn´t see Dorian. That made me sad. I pouted and looked down sadly.   
Snap entered and stepped in front of the blackboard, flicked his shiny black hair back and began to talk. I really dislike Snap. He is always so emo and mean, just like every other Slytherin... except for Dorian of course.  
´We start a new year today, as most of you might have noticed. As always, I expect utmost discipline and that you are on tim-´  
Just then the heavy door slammed open and roses began to fall from the sky again! Baesil beside me flinched but I already knew who had arrived, and I looked around and saw… Dorian!   
Our eyes met immediately and I smiled happily, he grinned sexily and without looking at stupid snap sat down at his place. Snap wizarded the door shut, it made a loud bang that made Basil flinch again, poor bby! and glared icily at Dorian but he did not even flinch, just stared back. Eventually Snap snorted and looked away and began talking again. I turned to Basil.  
´Omg Dorian is sooo cool!´  
´Yeah.´  
´He won the staring contest against Snap!´  
I squealed quietly but when I looked up suddenly Snap was standing in front of me! I gulped and felt tears in my eyes.  
´Well well well Miss, if you have something meaningful to say, which I sincerely doubt, you might as well share it with everyone.´  
I blushed very much and stood up slowly, I didn‘t want Dorian to know what I had said!. Sap was so mean!  
´I…I… I was just saying…´  
I blushed more and nearly started crying, I felt so scared that I couldn´t keep on talking. Snap began to grin but Suddenly Dorian stood up!  
´Excuseth me Sir, can not thee see she doth be scaréd? Please letteth her in peace.´  
Snap snapped his eyes open and turned to him slowly, looking very angery.  
´Mister Gray, it is? One day you have been among us and already misbehave so badly. Do not they teach you manners in Beauxbatons? Detention. both of you. tonight.`  
I buried my face in my hands and sat down, crying quietly, Baesil patted my back awkwardly.   
I was thankful for Dorians help but felt so bad that he now also had detention! I was such a baka…


	3. Chapter 3〜 \(//∇//)\

AN: nvwngvesngkjnkgvj Dorian is soooo bae fsfnenf Senpai notice me xDDDDD I wish he were real then he would be my daddy ehehehhe 

In the evening I left my room and went into the Hufflepuff common room to go to detention. I met baesil.  
´Off to detention with Dorian?´  
I nodded.  
`ok.`  
He looked sad but I didnt have time to ask because I was already late for detention! I ran into the dungeons and to Snape´s office, wearing a pastel-blue school uniform this time and white kneesocks that looked like Bunnies.  
Snap was already waiting and Dorian as well, he smiled warmly at me when I entered and i blushed. He looked exactly like a white knight!  
´YOu two will sort out the ingredients. The good ones stay in the shelves, the bad ones you throw away. I will come check in three hours.`  
Snap left with swivveling robes and I was alone with Dorian!!   
I blushed and went into the ingredients closet slowly and took two glasses.  
´How are we supposed to know which ones are good…?´  
I pouted.  
Dorian followed me and stopped close beside me, our arms were touchingfggggg!!!   
´I do not know. And I do not care. This be boring. Snape be sooo boring.`  
He leant against the shelf with a bored face and looked at me grinningly.  
´We could just cast some spells and tidy up quickly and then leave and do something more fun?´  
I blushed.  
`But… that s spells for advanced wizards… We don´t know how to do them yet..`  
`maybe you…but we at Beauxbatons learn faster than you english people`  
He took out his ivory-wand and waved it, speaking some words i didn´t know. His voice sounded so sweet and beautiful and I caught myself staring at his rose-red lips. Within two seconds all the bad ingredients lay in a heap on the floor and the good ones still were in the shelves.   
´let us go.´  
He grabbed my hand and tugged me through the dungeons and outside the castle and onto the grounds. I laughed happily and blushed. Stoopid Snap!  
´There be a rose garden I want to show thee.`  
I followed him and we went along the forbidden forest, scaryyy. I grabbed Dorian’s hand tighter, feleing spooked and he oulled me close and laid his arm around me!  
‚Be not scaréd, angel, I will protect thee.‘  
I gasped and smiled happily, feeling very safe.  
Suddenly we came to a gate full of red roses and behind that was a garden also filled with roses!  
We went inside and he lead me to a pair of white chairs and a table in the middle of the fresh grass.  
`Dorian… this is so beautiful!´  
`And it be just for thee…´  
I giggled and sat down. After a wave of his wand the table was filled with two teacup made of porcellain and an etagere with sandwitches and cake. The starry sky was so pretty and I looked up and smiled.  
`Awww!´  
My eyes sparkled and Dorian grinned when he sat down.  
‚Seeth.‘  
He pointed upwards and at the stars.  
‚These be the orion. And this the unicorn. And this...‘  
He looked at me, i looked back and blushed. He was so PRETTY!  
‚This star I dedicate to thee, my comet.‘  
I sighed and grabbed his hand, feeling so happy!   
‚I love it! And the garden too! This is superduper kawaii Do-chan!‘  
`I am certainly pleaséd that thou enjoyst this. Thee art truly beautifl… I knew it the first time i witnessed thee…   
Soft, what light through yonder eyes breaks?  
It is the east and Juliet is the sun.  
Thee art Juliet.  
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, ah, the moon.  
Who is already sick and pale  
So sick and so pale with grief  
That thou her maid art far more fair than she…`  
I blushed scarlet and nearly spilled the tea.   
`D..dorian.. this is beautiful!`  
`I know my dove. It be Shakespeare`  
We talked about Beauxbatons and our summer holidays and ourselves and our lives and discovered that we fit together so well! We talked and talked and talked and it was so wonderful and perfect that I wanted it to never end. I could feel that he was my soulmate! I knew it from the way my heart went doki-doki. But sadly it was nearly midnight and we had to leave or else we would break the curfew.  
`Oh dorian,,, this was perfection I… I loved it so much!`  
I blushed deeply as Dorian put his hands to my chin and tilted my face upwards.   
`And I lovéd thee…`  
He kissed my lips softly and then withdrew with a sexy smile.  
`Good night, Sashimi-chan.`  
(AHHHHHHH SO CUTEEEE DORIAN SENPAIIIIIIIIIIII)  
Happily I returned to the common room, feeling so HAPPY.  
I entered and... ran into Baesil! He had paint all over his arms and face and looked really cute with his ruffled hair!  
‚Ohayo Baesil! Were you painting? Do you have some cute Boys for me hehehhehe‘  
He blinked and I saw a letter in his hand but he hid it behind his back.  
‚I was. And no I don‘t excuse me... i uh... I need to go to the bathroom.‘  
I squealed loudly.  
‚Baesil! Could it be... you have a rendez-vous with a special babe?‘  
He looked caught and i squealed again. >~<  
‚ohhh I knew you would find someone! I am so happy for you!!!‘  
I patted his head and grinned, then held a finger to my lips.  
‚Please say who it is, I will not tell anyone!‘  
He looked away.  
‚Oh i... they asked me to keep it secret, sorry Sashimi... i uh.. I have to leave now, see you tomorrow.‘  
He quickly left the room. I went up to my dorm, thinking hard about who he could possibly meet up with...  
But when i kissed my anime boys good ngihh and slipped into bed I had forgotten all about baesil and was dreaming of Dodo-chan again...


	4. Chapter 4〜 _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

AN: BAESIL AHS A BF ADJAWKDBJKBA guyzzzz thanks for rding this far I´m acshually in TEARSSSSSS I´m so happy uwu   
whats ur fave otppppppppp? Mines Dorian and ME

The next day I met baesil in the common room, i caught him by his shirt sleeve and grinned.  
‚Sooooo? How was your date last night...?‘  
‚It uh... it wasn‘t really... a date...‘  
But he blushed so much that I knew this was a lieeee!!  
I stared at him slyly. We had gone out of the common room and through the corridor and I suddenly saw Dorian! I squealed and ran to him and gave him a hug.  
`h..hi Dorian Sama! ´  
´Splendid morning to thee, my bunny. I hope thou hast slept well last night…`  
I giggled happily and nodded and looked back at Baesil to wave goodbye at him. Dorian looked as well and they stared at each other for a moment, then we went away. I didn´t see the weird look in baesils eyes.

Today all my classes were with Dorian! But first we went to breakfast. Shyly I followed him to the Slytherin table. He saw that I was nervous and put an arm protectively around ma shoulders, drawing me closer.  
`it be alrght Sashimi-chan, I will protect thee…`  
I blushed and nodded and we sat down. In front of me sat Henry…! Oh no, not him!  
´Ah, Dorian, i see you have already found yourself a girlfriend.`  
HE smiled at me but I could feel it was not sincere but evil. òwó  
`Indeed, Henry. It be love at first sight and i adore her deeply, with all my soul. I want to place her on a pedestral of gold and to see the world worship the girl who be mine.´  
He looked at Henry earnestly and took some toast and coffee and began to eat.  
`is that so? well, you´ve only been here for a day my boy… who knows what lies in the future, amirgiht?´  
He grinned and I pouted at him. HEnry was really mean. Dorian loved me, he had said it. I blushed. We had only known each other for a day but… love at first sight existed! (Fite ME(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)).  
Dorian looked up and glared at Henry.  
`henry. how darest thee say such depressing things this early in the morning? thee art destroying my happy mood.´  
He sat back with a sigh and loosened his bright green bow-tie. Swiftly he took a dark green one out of his bag and exchanged it with the lighter one.   
´See what thou hast done, now my outfit does not match anymore…´  
Henry laughed.  
´Oh Dorian… Do not promise life-long romances. Women always want everything to last forever, that is how they ruin perfectly beautiful things. The only thing that lasts a little longer than a lifelong passion is a caprice.`  
He winked at me and I gasped, tears in my eyes. How dared he be so mean!  
`Dorian! Your friends are so mean to me!`Dorian stood up-  
`Thee art right, Sashimi. I shall not talk to thee again, Henry, until thou hast apologizéd!´  
Henry looked unimpressed and sipped his tea. Dorian looked so beautiful when he was angry, there was a literal fire in his eyes and his face was paler than usual and his cheeks were rose red from the passion. I stared at him in awe.   
Henry did not answer so Dorian stepped away angrily and grabbed my hand.   
`Cometh with me, my petal, we shall take our heavenly breakfast elsewhere where no cloudy skies destroy our sunny moods!´  
´I think the plural form would be meed, Dorian darling.`, Henry whispered loudly.  
Dorian cried out angrily and stomped towards the gate angrily, tugging me with him.  
`dorian… Dorian please wait… ´  
He stopped apruptly when we were outside the castle and when he looked at me I saw there were tears in his eyes.  
`Dorian… it is alright, don´t be mad…´  
´NO! henry should not have talkéd to thee like that! Thee art my girlfriend and he hath no right!´  
He suddenly grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips softly, I gasped.  
`I love thee Sashimi and no one shall ever talk to thee like that again! I promise!`  
I let out a happy gasp and threw my arms around his neck. Dorian pulled me closer and kissed me passionately, making me blush and giggle.   
Aynways after that we went to class and luckily Henry was a year above us so we did not see him again.  
Dorian and I passed the whole day together, we went walking around the grounds, dancing happily over the grass with linked hands. The sun was shining and the birds sung and it was a perfect day. He picked flowers for me and sang my heart will go on by celine dion.   
When it got dark he even accompanied me on my way to the common rooms, even though they were so far away from his own ones!   
´good-night my lovely prince, sleep well and have the sweetest dreams, eheh…´  
He smiled lovely at me and kissed the back of my hand.  
`sleep well Sashimi—chan, dream of me.`  
Slowly he went away and I turned to go into my room. But suddenly in the common room I ran into Baesil!  
´Baesil! What are you doing outside at this time?´  
He stared at me scaredely.  
´I... i uhm...‘  
I saw he had paint in his hands.  
‚Uhhh are you going to paint??‘  
His eyes lit up.  
‚Yes! Yes. Exactly.‘  
He smiled quickly.  
‚I will probably stay out until after curfew. Please don‘t tell anyone.‘  
I motioned my hand as if to seal my lips and giggled.  
‚Okido‘.  
With that he quickly went outside and was gone. I stood alone in the common room, thinking how Baesil probably had another date again. Oh yes, love love doki doki it was everywhere and so beautiful!  
Happily I went into my room and sighed happily, leaning against my door and thought of the beautiful day. Dorian was so wonderful, i would have never thought that I would have a boyfriend in my life! And not such a perfect prince! I looked around the walls and at all the fotos of Anime boys and husbandos I had gathered. Once I had loved them all with my everything, this perfect world where everything was happy and pretty and kawaii and senpais really noticed you…  
But now i suddenly felt nothing anymore for them… they were just drawings of fictional characters who essentially were dead at their core…   
I wandered through my room and looked at all of them slowly, trying to remember why I had once been so obsessed with these boys. Then I thought of Dorian and a happy smile crept onto my lips. Maybe I had now found my real love in this real world, and there would be no more need to live but in shadows!   
I laughed gaily and whirled around only to stop suddenly when I caught myself in the mirror. All this… masquerade… all this trying to be someone that I certainly was not.. this escape from the real world…   
I froze and looked down on my pastel-pink uniform and the kneesocks.  
Suddenly they all seemed so unbearably fake and insubstantial to me… Sashimi… Sashimi Katana Yuki…   
Didn´t that sound just awful? I spoke the name out loud.   
Even my voice sounded fake. I was a fake. I lived a fake!   
With a cry I tore off my jacket and threw it into a corner, feeling suddenly scared to death. Who was this person I had become?   
Dorian came to my mind again. My heart slowed and I let out a sigh. THere was no need to escape reality anymore, to become someone else. I had someone who loved me now, I had my friends, I had Hogwarts. I had a real world to explore and discover! Dorian had taught me what reality really was and made me understand love!  
Oh my prince, my prince of life.  
I had grown sick of shadows, he was more to me than all Anime Boys could ever be!  
I raised my wand and pointed it at my hair and mumbled an incantation, thereby erasing the pink colour completely. What remained was the lovely dark-brown I hadn´t seen for so, so long.I was myself again.  
I was...

Sybil Vane.


	5. Chapter 5〜(*´ー｀*)

AN: lolz yallz wasn´t expecting that right? hah gotchu. keep readin punks

I woke up suddenly and stared at the ceiling. Slowly I grabbed a strand of my hair and raised it to be able to see the colour. Brown. So I had not just been dreaming. Immediately I thought of Dorian and I couldn´t wait to see him again, my love for him was stronger than ever. (big mood) I yearned to see him and tell him how much my heart missed him this night, how I had found myself finally, thanks to him!  
Quickly I stood up and opened my dresser, then stopped. I had changed my haircolour and name yesterday but had forgotten my clothes… Pastel colours stared back at me with contempt. I huffed out a laugh and waved my wand to make them return to their original colours.   
I got dressed and made my hair and put on a bit of make up. Satisfied with myself and content with how my new-old me felt, I exited the bathroom- and stood in front of my friends.  
They moved to greet me but then suddenly dropped their hands and stared confusedly.  
`Good Morning!´  
THey didn´t answer, just looked shocked. (this is yallz)  
´What is it? OH1 right, I look different! I felt like a change..`  
They looked at each other, then back at me and began to smile.  
‚Oh Sashimi... you look really pretty today... what about your pink hair though?‘  
I explained my change of mind and then asked them please call me Sybil from now on. Sashimi lay in the past. They nodded and promised to remember, then we said good-bye.  
I made my way around them and then quickly moved towards the great hall. Dorian was already sitting at the Slytherin table, chatting with Henry. I wasn‘t exactly keen on sharing another conversation with Dorian‘s friend but for my love I could damn well make some sacrifices.  
´Good morning Honey!´  
I kissed my boyfriend´s cheek lovingly and sat down beside him. He looked up with a dazzling grin but froze once he saw my appearance. (:0)  
´Dear… you look…´  
´Different.´  
Henry chimed in from accross the table, sipping his tea. I suddenly became aware of the Slytherins around us staring maliciously at me.  
´Or should I say… boring? What happened to you diabetes Look, Sashimi?´  
´I felt like a change, Henry. And actually, I would like to be called Sybil now, thank you very much.´  
I glanced around, the other students started to whisper to one another and I was quite sure I knew the topic. I looked back at Dorian, who still hadn´t said anything. (rude)  
`What do you think, love? Don´t I match you better now?´  
Dorian seemed to catch himself, he shook his pale face and looked around uncomfortably.  
`My dear Dorian, no need to feel ashamed. There is only one thing worse than being talked about. And that is not being talked about.´  
Henry snickered to himself and downed his tea, then motioned to his neighbor to pour more liquid into his cup.  
Dorian kept quiet. His lips were pressed into a thin line and I was sure there were tears in his eyes… but he didn´t look angry… Just… sad…  
`Dorian dear... don‘t you understand...? Can‘t you see...?.`  
He looked at me with wide eyes.  
‚What?‘  
‚That all this... this change... it happened because of you! Because I lo-‚  
‚Shutteth thee mouth! Do not blameth me!‘  
With that he suddenly stood up and strode towards the gate. I looked after him with eyes wide from shock..  
`Well well. You certainly do not fail to deliver some drama, Sybil.`  
I turned to Henry, who narrowed his eyes suddenly and regarded me more closely.  
´i guess when one is in love one always begins by deceiving one‘s self and ends by deceiving others. You played a great part as Sashimi but Sybil is a crime against my aesthetical sentiments... if you‘d be a spice you‘d be flour.`  
Angrily I stood up.  
`I´m going to look for Dorian.`  
When I walked away I could clearly hear Henry laugh with his friends.

 

I searched everywhere for Dorian but couldn´t find him. Today we didn´t even have lessons with the Slytherins so I did not see him the whole day and since he did not appear at Lunch nor Dinner, I could only sit and wait until the schoolday was over. Basil had been missing as well, which was strange, since usually he never so much as missed a lesson, even if he was sick.  
With a heavy sigh I decided to first look in the rose-garden and if Dorian wasn´t there, I would sneak into the Slytherin´s common room, it must be possible somehow.   
I walked over the lonely grounds and towards the garden Dorian and I had first kissed in. Yes, surely he´d be here, surely he´d wait for me and explain that his strange behaviour this morning had only been due to a headache or something.   
But when I stepped into the garden with a happy smile, there was no one. I glanced around and sighed deeply. (hashtag deep)  
Maybe he really had been sick and was lying with fever at Madam Pomfrey‘s... (sure bud)  
I turned on my heel and quickly powerwalked back to the castle. My hand already lay on the door to the pharmacy when suddenly I hear a low chuckle wavering out of one of the nearby corridors. That sounded suspiciously like... Dorian! (GASP what a surprise)  
With a pounding hard I proceeded down the corridor and saw a half-open door in the distance. Yes, the voice clearly came from there. I quickened my steps only to stop apruptly when a second voice appeared. (guess who it is haha)  
‚Dorian... raise your head, please.‘  
...Basil? (GOTCHU did anyone guess)  
‚Doth that be better, my leaf?‘  
...What. (yeah not everyone is as thick as u sybil)  
‚Very.‘  
There was silence for a while. Then Basil spoke again.  
‚Oh Dorian... the world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold... the curves of your lips rewrite history...‘   
ExCUSE me? (no)  
I gasped and stumbled backwards against the wall, my arm brushed against a painting and sent the frame clicking loudly against the wall.   
‚Dost thee heareth that?‘  
Hurriedly I straightened up and glanced around to find a way to escape.  
‚Wait here, Dorian... I will look.‘  
Blindly I dove into one of the corridors, just as Basil appeared in the door.  
‚Sashimi... SASHIMI WAIT!‘

But I did not. I ran and ran and ran, half blind with tears streaming down my cheeks.  
How could Dorian do this to me!

(dramatic)


	6. Chapter 6〜 ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

AN: Did yallz guess the super original and dramatic plottwist? Yes? Then prepare for equally unoriginal storylines. THanks for readin. Also stop flaming u preps this is a fucking masterpiece and everyone who says otherwise will get haunted by Oscar Wilde in his dreams tonight and has to listen to the entierety of his plays backwards so WATCH YOUR MOUTH)

The next day I hardly managed to leave my bed. (big mood sis) I dragged myself over to the bathroom to at least brush my teeth but left my hair unkempt and my face without make-up. It was a miracle I had even managed to get up. (same)  
(do these ans destroy the flow of the story? ye? well fuk u)  
I couldn‘t believe Dorian would betray me so. Part of me denied it, part of me had already accepted the terrible truth. My heart seemed to throb and grow until it filled my throat and choked me, I would have started sobbing if there‘d been any tears left in my body.   
Like a ghost I left my dorm and promptly met Basil in the common-room.  
‚Sashimi... please listen-‚  
(i didnt mean to be rude to you i am just insecure about my writing and this is my coping mechanism uwu)  
But I passed him by without even looking at him. Gladly he did not follow me. The way to the big hall passed by in a blur. I was about to enter when I spotted Dorian at the Slytherin table, holding Henry‘s hand in his and speaking to him lowly. He did not notice me but Henry suddenly looked up and his lips parted into a sly grin when he saw me.   
(henry is an actual bitch, Also I want to stress how authors notes are def still in character and that the narrator is not necessarily the author and i know they are called authors notes but this aint me chief, this is a character cause lolz do i speak like that xD rar.exe uwuw)  
Without hesitation I turned on my heels and ran back into my room.  
There was no way in hell I‘d go into classes today and see Dorian and the other Slytherins laughing about me! I slammed the door shut behind me and began crying again.  
My pain... was so …. all consuming... I did not want to feel anything anymore... My heart felt as if it had been slashed in two! (gonna stop the ANs now cause this gets interesting now (i think))  
Dorian... Dorian how could you!  
Silently I sang the Sound of Silence and cried to myself. I was so depressed. Now that Dorian had left me, nothing had meaning anymore, oh how I had loved him!   
Loudly I sobbed into my hands. For him I had become myself again but what was that worth, now he didn‘t love me anymore! Suddenly the sunrays falling into the room made me angry, so angry that I nearly threw up.   
I took my wand and whipped it towards the window, the curtains fell shut and darkness consumed me. Not only externally but also internally.   
Slowly I stood up, my hair fell into my face.  
My whole body started to hurt and My brain stopped working suddenly, I opened my eyes widely and saw that a black Pentagram which glowed red appeared beneath me!! I screamed but couldn‘t move!!  
Dark red flames shot out of the floor and seemed to burn me, I screamed and screamed but it didn‘t stop then suddenly-  
Fireworks went off in front of me and a figure shot up from out of the floor. He had pale skin and red-slitted eyes and no nose! He wore a white bodysuit with sparkles all over it, for some reason, and sunglasses, probably against the flames though I could not figure out how they stayed on his face. Around his shoulders hung a black e-guitar which he suddenly moved his hand over, a loud harmony of notes rang through my ears.  
„WHO ARE YOU???“  
I screamed, feeling scared to death.  
„I BE VOLDYMINT! THE DARK LORD, COUSIN THIRD GRADE OF SATAN, SLAYER, CEO OF DEATH EATER COMPANY AND AUTHOR!“  
I stared at him.  
„How do these glasses stay on your face if you don‘t have a nose?“  
The flames looked smaller now and, really! They had shrinked to a hundred candles. It actually looked kinda romantic... I remembered Dorian‘s and my date... tears streamed into my eyes.  
„What dost thee meane.“  
Oh.. right... I‘d just started a conversation with Voldy.  
„You don‘t... you don‘t have a nose...?“  
He paused and then pushed up his sunglasses, looking at me inquiringly.  
„Excuseth me young lady, but I came down here to have a splendid time and honestly, I do feel attacked right now. What dost the meaneth I do not possess a nose? That be utterly ridiculous. UnbelIEVABLE.“  
I watched anxiously until he had finished his monologue, then asked:  
„But... why are you here...?“  
For some reason Voldy did not really seem scary to me.  
„Oh. Right.“  
He straightened up and slammed his fingers over the guitar again which made me flinch heavily.  
„THEE MUST DESTROY DUMBLYDORE!“  
What.   
I did not answer, Voldy looked uncomfortable.  
„I COMMANDED-„  
„Yeah, I know, I heard, but why?“  
He sighed.  
„Looketh... he had this boy he really likèd and I might or might not have found him hot as well, might or might not have visited this small island in the pacific ocean with him, Ha-why it‘s called, lovely place, the muggles build themselves a paradise there, really. But anyways. Dumblydore be pretty mad at me esp cause I uh... might have corrupted the boy a little.. hehe... and anyways he be angry at me now and I am nervous.“  
That way of speaking... somewhere I had heard it before...  
„ANYWAYS IF THEE DOST NOT DO WHAT I COMMAND I WILL SLAY THEE AND YER FRIENDS AS WELL!“  
„Jokes on you, I don‘t have any friends anymore.“  
I looked into the distance sadly, a tear streaming down my cheek. Voldy followed my eyes but after a moment of confused staring spoke on.  
„Actually thee hast thou book club but goeth off I guess.   
DESTROYETH DUMBLYDORE OR I KILLETH THY BOOK CLUB!“  
I gasped loudly as the candles burned down. Suddenly everything was drenched in blackness again. I scrambled for my wand, pulled it out and quickly made the curtains lift again.  
Sun streamed into the room and illuminated the scene around me.   
Voldymint was gone. But... had he ever really been there...? Or had everything been a dream? I mean... a human without a nose coming out of the earth and playing an e-guitar? Really?

I sighed and got up from the floor. My eyes wandered over my school-uniform... actually it would look really good were it black... maybe with some black lace... and a corset.... plateau boots....  
With a sigh I looked up. It would look superb but fundamentally changing my style twice in three days might have been a little excessive.   
(hi i´m back. i actually love voldymint lolzor in case you haven´t noticed)

As I looked up again my eyes found something lying on the floor just where Voldymint had stood. I approached it and saw…  
It were his sunglasses. So he had been real. I took up the accessory and studied it, it was actually pretty boring. (Voldy crying in the distance)  
But it proved that he had been real. Which meant…. that my book CLUB WAS IN DANGER!   
I stared into the distance.   
I needed to find a way to destroy Dumblydore and save my friends.

(Oh boy..this is a trainwreck…)


	7. Chapter 7〜( ˊ̱˂˃ˋ̱ )

AN: How does this have seven chapters already, this is the longest I´ve ever written. Hope yallz are still entertained and not ready to slaughter me for bad fiction thanks. If you however want to then I request Karlotta painting a portrait of me and yall slashing it together. That´s the only way I want to go down, thx.  
srsly tho is this worse or equal to my immortal  
nvm dont answer that question  
bye

It was still relatively early in the day and I didn´t feel like crying my eyes out anymore. Dorian was a fucking prick, honestly, he didn´t know what he was missing and i was ANGERY but felt ready to go to class again. I also wanted to see my friends, just in case Voldy decided to obliterate them before I had the chance to do anything.  
THe problem was that Dumblydore, in spite of his funny name, was actually the most powerful wizard of our age. He´d literally mastered every situation so far, including his super awkward ghoth-phase and his embarassing crush on Gellert Grindelwald. Oh, and he was responsible for ending that dark reign of Voldymort.  
The goth phase is actually a funny story, there was this one time when everyone in Hogarts turned either Satanist, which means goth or prep and they kind of battled. But the actual abttle was between Voldemort and Dumblydor and idk they kind of quarrel since then. The person who defeated Voldy back then had been some girl called Enoby Darkness Dementia or something, idk I read it in Hogwarts a History once but that was in first class and who remembers things they learned in first class? lol i literally read it with the books club…  
Oh yeah, i needed to find a way to kill DUmbly.  
Anyways I had no idea how to attempt that. Or why Voldemint thought I would be the right person for that. I was literally a student but okay.  
Right now the Hufflepuffs had Botany and so I sprinted out of my dorm and through the castle and accross the grounds to join my friends in class. I was just on time, when I arrived the profferssor was currently moving the huge glass-doors. She looked at me disaprovingly for being late but because I did not want to tell her how I´d suffered an emotional breakdown and literally met Voldemint himself, I just smiled apologetically and slipped inside.  
The first person I looked at was… of course… Basil.  
Hi made a movement as if he wanted to talk to me but I passed him by wordlessly, looking cold and strong even though my heart was aching for the lost friendship. I missed him and even though Dorian´s betrayal had been the first thing to really wound me, I realized that Basil´s actions were more hurtful to me than anything else. We had been friends for a very long time already after all.  
But instead of shrinking into a sobbing mess I approached the Book Club proudly and smiled when I saw them, hoping they wouldn´t see how red my eyes were.  
„Hey Sybil, where were you first period?“, they asked, as in, they all simultaneously asked,a s if they spoke with the same voice. That was a weird thing about them. They sometimesseemed to be an entity. Just The Book Club ™️.  
„Oh I uh… was having my period.“  
I smiled and they nodded emphatically. Then Proffessor Snout stepped behind her favourite flower pot and began reciting today´s plans.  
It was nothing special, we just had to collect blue-and-red spiders from the Marvel-Leaves because if people got bitten by them they developed Spider´s attributes and grew kind of over powered. It also ahd no connection to magic anymore and as is known, Wizards hate everything that´s not magic. So we popped all the spiders into one large glass and in the end squashed them mercilessly into goo. I actually saw one spider crawl away and imagined her travelling to New York or something, biting a boy and turning him into a spider. It was kind of silly but my friend´s sudden laughter brought me back into reality and to my own problems. (yeah, idk where she was going with this wtf sybil)  
I needed to consult them and develop a plan to defeat Dumblydor…. (honestly)

After slaughtering the spiders, which simultaneously horrified and delighted all arachnophobiacs in our midst, class ended and we ere free to go. I stayed close to my friends because Basil seemed to hover in the entrance and I was sure he wished to talk to me. But not today, bitch.  
„GUYS. Can we all meet up after school and talk? I got smth important to tell yall.“  
They looked at each other anxiously.  
„Yeah, we wanted to ask you anyways, are you okay? Like, generally speaking? The sudden change in personality… the breakup with Dorian… tbh that relationship in general… we were pretty surprised seeing you at the Slytherin table all of the sudden. And talking with fucking Henry, as well.“ (i assume no one in this club really likes henry. except for the author)  
Aw man. Aw that was so absolutely sweet and adorable. -I caught myself before I could say kawaii-. Just friends bein wholesome and adorable. Just people treatin ya RIGHT god dammit, not like that prick DOrian! I suddenly felt tears spring into my eyes. Not because of Dorian, lolzor, no because I thought of Voldymint again and his threat to kill my friends.  
They all gasped and started patting my back (all sensitive) with worried expressions. „It´s fine… I just… I will tell you after school…“  
now would have been a really bad moment because they might have gotten distracted by the imminent threat of death and i really couldn´t risk my friends loosing focus during class, good grades were important after all.  
We decided to all meet in the entrance hall after Division- I mean Divination, and depart for Hogsmeade. 

The sun was already disappearing to gift her light to other peoples, which, rude, when we all met in front of the castle. The air was warm and light, since it was still september, but it smelled like rain. In the cheeriest of dispositions we made our way towards Hogsmeade, but behind my happy smile I was actually tortured. The weight of Voldymint´s threat hung heavy over my heart. But then finally came the moment in whcih I could get this load off of me, and transfer the pain to my friends, who were it´s rightful owners. We sat in a corner, Butterbeers and a huge glass of Nutella in front of us.  
„So… what i´ve been meaning to tell yallz…“  
And so I recounted my weird encouter with Voldymort. NAturally everyone was shocked at first, but they didn´t gasp.  
For a moment I was watching them calmly, no one spoke. Surprisingly no one started to cry, but that was probably fault of this generation as a whole. I saw one of them starting to move up there arms into the famous ´guess i´ll die´posture, but they quickly decided otherwise and spared us all a forced laugh.  
„So uh… will you all help me?“  
Not that there was a choice, really. But they pretended to join in voluntarily anyways, as I said, so wholesome and pure.  
Raspberry Night suddenly pulled out his tablet and turned it on (Yes. yes I KNOW that technology does not work in hogwarts but it´s 2019, ppl, wake up, they probably found a solution for that by now. dont @ me)  
„Alright, we have to collect all the information we have on Dumblydore. I will write it down and colour it and then we can figure out loop holes.“, he said statistically.  
We thought for a while.  
„He´s powerful.“, Rarity Dash provided helpfully.  
We looked at her.  
„I meannnn… yeah… but that doesn´t really make it eaasier.. does it?“, Flutter Bell squinted slightly and took a bite of her loaf of bread. She always carried bread around with her. She loved bread. It was concerning..  
We returned to silence while Raspberry Night scribbled something on his tablet. I looked around.  
„Does someone remember what we read about him in Hogwarts A History…?“  
Some people let out an exaggerated laugh, signalling that, nope, not a word, but Rarity Twist nodded. He was the only person who still knew the whole plot, not a surprise, this dude David Mitchell had written History and Rarity Twist was kind of a fangirl.  
„He was Harry Potters mentor, kind of, and saved the school from both Voldymintys and Grindelelelwald´s attacks. He survived his emo phase without any pictures being taken, therefore this is only a rumour and… He survived his embarassing crush on Grindelelelelelelwald and all the awkward situations that existed because of it.“  
We all made an ´ahhhh´sound, except for Raspberry Night who scribbled everything down eagerly.  
„Well, why don´t we… like… use this crush against him,,, or something? I don´t know haha…“, Rarity Dash proposed depressedly.  
„You mean like trigger the awkwardness and hope he slips this time? Then when he´s not looking we can avafda Kedavra him?“  
She nodded, we all gasped.  
„Yeah, that´s a g u r e a t idea and I´m totally sure thi will work.“, I nodded eagerly, „And I can definetly dress up as Grindeeelelellelelewald and pretend to be him because I´m really good at theatre.“  
Then they all clapped.  
And so it was decided, we would defeat Dumblydore and save my friend´s lives! Yayy!  
Now that everything was decided there was a comfortable silence all around, until Rainbow Mist and Raspberry Light broke it again.  
„But while we´re at it, being badass I mean, we could also pay Dorian back for being a prick?“  
„Fuck YEAH“ I screamed and felt the edgy goth energy inside of me flare up. I wondered briefly what my goth name would be (cat shadow).  
„ I mean, Dorian is a fuking prep so we cud flam him wif da goffik powahhhhh yass“, Flutter Bell said who was the least goth of us so I don´t know why she spoke like that.  
„I mean yeah, but that would probably be too week… I is a prep but a gothic prep? You know, on this chart he´d be right on the axis of prep and goth bbut mroe towards goth than prep. So da goffik powah wpouldn´t defeat him much.“, I thought out loud.  
„Okay listen. How about we make him wear Outfits that don´t match.“, Rarity Dash provided statistically and we all frowned.  
„I don´t… I don´t believe that that would do anything… that´s pretty weird… I mean…“  
Rarity Twist leant back and crossed his arms, Rarity Dash raised her hands in defeat.  
„Sorryy, sorry, just a thought…“  
She looked away embarrassedly.  
It was getting late so I said:  
„Well, let´s think about Dorian another time, we gotta get back.“  
And so we did so.


	8. Chapter 8〜˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚

AN: fanks tu raven for da helpppp evn tho i dunno her an she did nothink u rox gurl 666 

The whole Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday we had spent on refining our plan to kill Dumblydor. It was pretty great but I won‘t tell yallz because that would ruin the suspense. And i gotta keep the expectations up so the disappointment comes as late as possible.  
Anyways I was standing in my room, wearing a pitch-black suit with lace, a bright white shirt with skulls, a blood red bow tie (that was actually coloured with blood lolz) and knee high stiletto boots with lace as well. My hair was bright blond (jus lik dracoooos xd) and i had put concealer on ma face to make me look more masculine. Tjis was stupid bc appearances totally hav nuthing to do wif da gendah but anyways (shut up raven). I didnt have to hide my boobs cause they were nearly nonexistent anyways.   
In otha words i looked totally lik Grindelelelelwald now. Just had tu put on some red lipstick and much eyeliner caus Grindelelelelellelelelellelelewald was a goth. Had been, hes actually dead. Dumbly killd him. Which hopfully wouldn‘t destroy our plan lol. Oops  
Ma friendz and I met outside da comn rum and i spun around v quickly tu show off ma outfit lolz. They all clapped and gasped.  
„Ohmigod u look so pritty Gellerttttt“  
They said, using my covername.   
„Acschually, it‘s oh mi SATAN, but go off I guesss.“  
My voice was so deep rn (hashtag deep) that they said I basically was jus lik Grindelelwald now. I bowed.  
„K bitches, les go and kill this motherfucker lolzor.“  
We went down da hal and tu dumblydors office and there was a big black statue of a moth in front.   
„Pässwörd pls.“  
Wi hadnt thought of dis when we conceptualized da plan so wi were p shook.  
„Uhh...“  
Bifor i cud say anything da statue talked again.  
„This u bröther grindelelellelewäld? Löl. Dümblydör säys ü cän gö in withöüt da pässwörd.“  
I gasped as da statue turnd and riviled a stairs!!!  
My friendz wavd at mi as i went up cauz they wer all scard for my lif and theirs o cauz cause if i failed they al die!  
Anyways I enterd the office and lukd around. Ther was portraits evrywhea of old headmastrs, no womn, totally sexist. They also wer all white. Hogwarts was so racist! I grinned depressedly.  
Da sortin head was sittin in a cornah and bigan tu move when i entared.   
„If this aint Grindelelelewald,  
I b‘lived dumbly had, to halt  
Your evilness, used his wand,  
To cut yur lifes bond!“  
I nided a momt to puzzl out da warnin of da hat. It insisted on talkin in quatrains and everyun found em so mysterious and enigmatic but i secrtly thought they were just shit.  
„Yas hat, he did but gofs cant bee kild by preps so stahp flamin! I‘m also a vampir so i am double immortal lolz.“  
Da hat wantd to spek again but then Dumblydor cam out of his office.  
He wore bright pink pajamas wif „avril lavigne“ on the ass and bunny ears on his head. When hi saw me he froz and gaspd, his fac becam very red.  
„Grindelelelellellelllelmellelemmlelemdllelewald...! I thought- i belived...“  
I grinnd sexily an leant against a pile of books attractively.  
„Sup Dumbly. I‘m bacc from da ded lol. Hell was gr8 but i missed u. I crawld bacc hea a week ago cuz i missd u.“  
I sent him an air kizz and saw that he blushed veri deep.  
„But I defeated you! Why aren‘t you...“  
„I told u bitch, i wanted 2 see u again. Hell was hot but u r hotter.“  
I realized i made the same jok twice but dumbly was tu embarrassed tu notice. I walkd 2wardz him sexily, shakin my hips in a masculine way. He was nierly crying, al sensitive. I was proud of my akting skilz but askd myself wetha Dumblydor rlly had survivd his crush on Grindelelellelelelewald without bein embarassin or wetha da history books just lied bout dat, coz now he lukd rlly pathetic. I riched out n grabbd his hand tu press a kiss to it, den pulled him closah tu me.  
„But Grindel... elelelelel... I thought... you always... I always thought you were straight....“  
I grind malely.  
„U fool lol. I‘m as Pan as Brandon Urie lolzor.“  
I cam closah and pursd ma lips to kiss him, i didnt want tu but all for da stage, tru theatre kid yassss.   
But then....  
A secnd bifor I cud meet Dumbly‘s lips n distract him wif da kiss hi suddenly jerkd bacc and wielded his wand @ me.   
I scriemd as i flu thru da room and against a wal.  
„Exacuseh me, what da fucc...?“  
I moand as I landed on da flor.   
Dumbyldor pointed his wand on mi and managd tu look scary in his pink pajamas.  
„You fool! You are not Gellert! Who are you!!“  
I gaspd.  
„But dumblydor, what is u sayin, i‘m gellert I sweah tu Satan!“  
Hi laughd.  
„Brandon Urie only cam out as Pan in 2018 and if you had been out of hell a week then there is no way you might have known that! So who are you!“  
I gasped. How could I have missed that little detail? Now everything was lost!! I jumped up and pulled out my wand but slipped on the stilleto heals and had to grab the Sorting Hat for support.  
„WATCH OUT BITCH  
THIS SCHOOL AINT RICH  
IF YOU RIP MA STICH  
IMMA THROW YOU IN A DITCH.“  
The portraits all made an „Ohhhhhh“ sound but I ignored them. I didn‘t even know what the hat was saying anyways.  
„Allright. Allright, okay, I‘m not Grindelelelelwald, I‘m Sybil Vane.“  
Dumblydore looked at me with narrowed eyes, all suspicious.  
„And why the FUCK are you trying to seduce your headmaster? That‘s super weird. And I‘m GAY.“  
There was no way I could get out of this situation without telling the truth. I really didn‘t want to pretend that I had actually tried to seduce him...  
„Actually, I just pretended to be Grindelelwald to distract you.“  
I wanted to continue but suddenly felt tears spring into my eyes, I started to sob.   
„I just... Voldymint threatened to KILL my friends if I didn‘t destroy you and by now they have gained so much character that reader might me equally depressed when they die and no one wants that so I had to do everything I can to save them!!!“  
I sobbed and sobbed and didn‘t even notice that Dumblydor came closer.  
When I looked up because he had petted my head he was wearing a dark blue wizard‘s robe.  
„Oh girl... i should have known that Voldy was planning something... you see, he tried to destroy me once already by turning Grindelwald bad, i nearly died of heartbreak when I had to kill him. Then I had this boyfriend, I won‘t name him because of privacy reasons, but Voldy also managed to snatch him away, and now I have to watch him getting corrupted right in front of my nose because they he came into this school as a transferr student this year! And now... he has tried to kill me through you!“  
„I know that you mean Dorian.“  
„Oh. Excuse me. I didn‘t want to bring up memories in you... i still feel bad for all that...“  
„You? You didn‘t have anything to do with this though?“, i said suspiciously.  
„Anyways. Voldy is trying to take over the school! You see... we have his nose stored away in the dungeons and half of a wizard‘s magic is stored in the nose, which is why they are so huge in magicians! Don‘t be afraid Sybil. He won‘t be strong enough to kill your friends anytime soon, but if he gets the nose! Then you shall be scared...“  
Dumblydore went over to his table and scribbled something down on a paper, then slowly folded it into a paper plane and went to throw it out of the window.  
„Headmaster, might I ask you a question? Why is Voldymint so mean? And how did he loose his nose?“  
Dumbly looked at me and smiled mysteriously.  
„I like it when my heros only know half of the truth so the surprise plottwists evoke later on is more sincere. But what I will tell you is this: we must finish Voldy off. He is evil, amoral, and corrupt. But I can‘t do it myself because I am the headmaster and small students are less mourned after when they die in an attempt to save the world so you have to do it. Ask your friends pr smth idk.“  
I gasped.  
„You think I can defeat him?“  
„Sure. Now fuk off.“  
He returned into his bedroom and slammed the door shut. I got up and wiped away my tears. Voldy had lied to me... and he was trying to destroy Hogwarts! I mean, I wouldn‘t say no to the abolition of school but I was so angry at Voldy for having made me to nearly kiss Dumblydor, that I firmly decided to kill him. 

Decidely I went down and met my friends who were waiting scarily. They all gasped when they saw me and I told them what had happened. They gasped again. We decided to meet up tomorrow and plan how to kill Voldyminty. 

Sighing heavily I parted from my friends and just wanted to go away when I saw Henry sneaking around accross the corridor? He was sipping tea out of a white cup and smoked and obviously tried to look inconspicious but I wasn‘t easy to fool! When he saw me looking at him he quickly walled away, but I saw that something fell out of his pocket.. I walked down the corridor and picked it up and...  
It was a pair of sunglasses! And.........  
They looked exactly like Voldymintys! :0


	9. Chapter 9 (●´ω｀●)

It was Monday again which meant lessons with Slytherin. Which meant seeing Dorian again. Yayyyy. I sat with my friends in the great hall, looking nervously over to the entrance now and then. I hadn‘t seen Dorian since last week and I was nervous but also ready to fucking wreck him should he dare make fun of me or something. Honestly? I looked damn cute now. I was a fucking delight to be around, my skin glowed, my crops were watered, my hair was radiant as Fuck. Come at me Dorian!  
Anyways. I looked up again and saw-  
Henry, Basil and Dorian came into the hall. Henry was smoking a ridiculously long cigarette, Dorian looked flawless as ever, I‘d like to report the contrary but who am I kidding, and Basil looked weirdly thin and pale. He and Dorian were holding hands. Basil‘s and my eyes met and I clicked my tongue and returned to my breakfast (pancakes with Honey and peanuts, in case you were wondering.)  
(I know you were)

A second later someone sat down in front of me. I was surprised to see it was Basil. How dared he even look at me after what he had done? Hoe. (Sorry Basil omg) My eyes travelled over to Dorian and Henry. They were both looking at me with strange grins on their faces and Henry whispered something into Dorian‘s ears.   
Suddenly he stood up and came over to stand behind Basil.   
„Basil, wouldn‘t thee want to sit with better company, my leaf? Here everything be so boring.“  
I nearly choked on my cereal. Now I knew who Voldyminty‘s speech patterns had reminded me off!  
Huh. You really are what you eat, I guess.  
No that sounded wrong.  
Never mind.  
Anyways.  
Dorian mistook my amusement for anger and wrapped his arm tightly around Basil‘s shoulders, which obviously surprised Basil since he let his spoon fall into the bowl of cereal, and probably was meant to make me jealous or smth? Lol idk.  
„Beeth careful, my herb, or this persons blandness goeth over to thee.“  
Herb. I calmly chewed my pancake, noticing Henry, for some reason, laughing in the distance, but also that Basil seemed uncomfortable.  
„I don‘t know Basil, I think you‘re more in danger of receiving Dorian‘s arrogance.“  
I wasn‘t good at trashtalking people? Or being sassy? But I had to say something, right?   
„Rather arrigant than.... tasteless as flour! Ha!“, Dorian shook back with a triumphant laugh.  
Uh...  
„Hang on, you def got that joke from Henry. As you have your fancy speech from Voldyminty. Which is, by the way, totally ridiculous and weird? English with French accent would‘ve been hot but what your mouth produces isn‘t even coherent. Or aesthetically pleasing?.“  
Apparently that seemed to hit Dorian hard because he gasped loudly, hugging Basil‘s head hard. Poor Basil looked as if he was about to choke. (Mood)  
„TAKETH THAT BACK.“  
I shrugged and shot Basil a worried glance.   
„At least... at least I be interesting and a sparkly unicorn of style, a butterfly in a world full of pigeons, the Shakespeare between Nicholas Spark‘s books! U just jealous bitch that i picked up this golden leaf here instead of indulging you, u know what? U were ugly all along. I never loved ya, I thought you were interesting and art, the personification of fukin anime, then u cum one day and look like this, like a fukin prep what the fuk! U betrayed me! U disappointed me! U know wha? That first day, I shoulda left you at that streetcorner where i found ya!“  
The whole hall was watching silently now because dorian‘s voice had become kind of a screech. Weirdly enough he still looked pretty despite speaking and behaving so ugly? It was unfair.   
From the Griffindor table came a loud:  
„Butcha didnt.“  
But that was all. Everyone else was silent. I let my fork sink to the plate slowly, feeling utterly unmoved.   
Basil‘s face was dark scarlet now and he basically punched Dorian‘s arm to regain freedom, which luckily was granted. Dorian stepped away.  
„Dorian... I really think... this is really a bit much.“, the painter muttered, which surprised me.  
„Excuseth me? Thee art not on da side of da fukin preps?“  
In the background Henry rolled his eyes and sipped his tea.  
„As a matter of fact... I am. You have treated Sashimi- Sybil like trash and this is not something I stand for. i‘m sorry Dorian but... you have gone too far.“  
Dorian gasped loudly and then everyone clapped. I blinked.  
„If that... be your choice... go fuk yourself u fukin preps! I be much cooler than thee art anyways! Fuk off! Ur a fukin whore anywayz Sashimi!“  
With that he suddenly stormed out of the hall, totally uncool. I noticed that Henry seemed to have disappeared?  
Anyways. I leaned back and let out a sigh.  
„Damn. This was so sad. Alexa-„  
I turned to the right and looked at a classmate who conveniently was named Alexa,  
„Can we play despacito?“  
Immediately all muggle-borns burst out into song and we all sang despacito and forgot dorian and his weird aggression immediately.   
Basil and I looked at each other and smiled. 

Later after breakfast and before class he came to me and confessed.  
„Sybil, I really wasn‘t doing anything with Dorian that night. Or ever. I was just painting him. You know how i always wanted to create a magical painting? Yeah, we were doing that... i was only interested in him as an art model... even though I think he really was making a move on me... but he probably was just playing. i‘m sorry, I wanted to tell you sooner but you kinda avoided me.“  
I mean, it was kinda sad that basil only thought of his art but i was glad that he hadn‘t fallen under the spell of dorian, like i had.   
„I forgive you, of course. And i apologize for not having spoken to you earlier. Communication is key, kids.“, i said, looking into the camera like i was on the office. Basil followed my gaze but couldn‘t see anything, naturally.   
„Well. We should get to class then. See you there, Basil, I gotta go pee for a sec.“  
I smiled and darted around a corner. I walked down some corridors towards the girl‘s bathroom when-   
Henry suddenly appeared in front of me. He hadn‘t see me yet and for some reason I felt the urge to keep it that way. I hid behind a pillar and watched him go by, then followed silently. He looked... strange... somehow thinner... his hair seemed to have lessened as well? And he kept muttering to himself...   
„Dorian be traitor... how dareth he... who he thinketh he be...“  
This speech...   
i hid behind a corner again and watched how Henry pulled out a flask... he opened it furiously but turned around before he took a sip... I nearly gasped.  
His whole face had changed...! And... HIS NOSE WAS GONE!  
He gulped down something of the bottle‘s liquid and I could see how his face became normal again...  
I couldn‘t believe it.... He unmistakenly had taken polyglyjocamylsljuice!   
And he had looked and talked just like...  
Voldyminty!

 

(Gasp)


	10. Chapter 10〜  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AN/ ok guys you‘re nearly through this hellhole of a fic. Hold on just a second longer

„He whaaaaaa???“, The Book Club ™️ screamed in one voice when I told them about Henry and what I had observed like a second ago.   
„Would you shut the fuck up pls? Dorian sits literally two metres away, he can totally hear you.“  
Actually Dorian was already looking at us sispiciously while scribbling down somethign on a paper.   
„Well anyways, Dumblydor said I should kill VOLDYMINT cause he‘s a threat to the school but I mean killing Henry must be easy cause he‘s a lazy prick.“  
They all nodded in agreement. Dorian snorted. I had forgotten that he listened in oops. Actually the whole class wa slistening, Snap too. He stood in front of us but we had just ignored him. Now he slammed his hand on the table and i am surprised he didn‘t break it. He should‘ve.  
„Would you all be so kind as to shut up when classes begin? We are here to study poTIONS and not listen to you incoherent ramblings about the Dark Lord you pricks. I‘d give you Detention but Dumblydore forbid me to do that so i‘ll just SCREAM AT YOU INSTEAD.“  
We looked up at him and shrugged.  
He returned to the blackboard and began talking about potions which was really boring.   
Anyways after the lesson we exited the classroom and saw-  
Henry was powerwalking down the corridor!!! It was the fastest I had ever seen him.   
I motioned to my friends and Basil to follow me and we walked down the corridor as well, making sure that Henry didn‘t see us.   
But then suddenly-  
We all gasped, Dorian appeared in front of us!  
„What art thee all thinking who thee art, thee blievéd that thee can kill Henry? Loö xD“  
He shook at the last two words. I stepped forward.  
„Actually yeah. Now can u fuk off pls prep?“  
He laughed evilly and resumed a kung-fu pose.  
„Tryeth me Bitch.“  
And so I did.  
I flung expalliarmusses and some other spells at him and my friends helped (except for Basil) but either Dorian dodged them or the spells just didn‘t leave any marks on his face. Dude was really aethletic.   
We all gasped when an expelliarmus hit us and we all fell against the wall!  
„They canst killeth me whores! I be instoppable!“  
Maybe his body looked perfect still but his speech was obviously beginning to lag.   
I stood up heavily, feeling my cheeks. There was a cut accross them and it bled.  
„Lol Sashimi now u be lookin even uglier lolllll“  
I stuck my tongue out at him, all mature.  
„Sybil... we need to flee!“, Rarity Dash screamed depressedly as she was trying to keep rainbow mist from beginning to fight again. I nodded and motioned for everyone to retreat while Dorian laughed maliciously. He was actually real good at that, alas I admit it.

We stumbled out of the dungeons and gasped.  
„Why the hell didn‘t he get injured??“, Raspberry Night said statistically.  
We all shrugged since we were equally confused. But then Basil suddenly spoke.  
„I uh... I might have an idea. You know how I painted that Painting of Dorian, Sybil? Yeah... he might or might not have enchanted it to receive all injuries and also age instead of him? I don‘t know wether that is really what happened but... it might be.“  
We all gasped loudly.  
„Basil. Where is that painting!“  
We needed to destroy Voldy/Henry but before that Dorian had to be eliminated as well. Also he deserved that. Fucking bitch.   
Basil led us through the castle and to the small room near the nurse‘s office where I had spotted Basil and Dorian that day.   
The painter opened the door and-  
The picture hung on the wall, it was fucking ugly alright, there were slashes all accross it‘s face and it looked downright evil and disgusting. But Dorian was in front of the picture! And... THEY WERE MAKING OUT With each other!!!!  
(Physics are not a thing in this universe)  
We all gasped because this was so disgusting omigod!  
Dorian turned around suddenly, there was blood on his face- on his real face, the person‘s face but I mean there was also blood on the picture-Dorian‘s face but right now I mean the physical person‘s.   
„Thee bitches can‘t destroyeth me, I be immORTAL, I be a fucking god u prepz fuk off!“  
He suddenly grabbed his wand and ran towards me! Everyone screamed but then I had my wand and I said the first thing that came to my head!  
„IMPERIALISM!“  
He stopped dead in his tracks, i had cast an unforgivable curse on him!  
I remembered Rarity Dashe‘s proposal from that night in Hogsmeade. We looked at each other for a moment then she used her wand to magic a wardrobe into the room.  
„Okay Dorian... go to the wardrobe.“  
He did so while his painting struggled in his frame.  
„Open it. Yeah.. that‘s a good boy... now uh... take off your shirt and shoes and pants?“  
Basil behind me gasped.  
„Cool. Thanks. Now take out the Pink poloshirt, the grass green skirt-„  
The portrait suddenly broke into a high pitched scream.  
„AND THE SPARKLY CROCS.“  
I finished my sentence, screaming, becasue of the portrait.   
Dorian dressed, shaking all over and began to sob.  
„NOOOO. noooooooo! Thee can‘t do this to meeeeee!!!“  
He broke down on the floor and buried his face in his hands, still sobbing uncontrollable. It seemed that we had broken him. I picked a knife that randomly lay there and approached the canvas when-  
Suddenly Basil screamed!  
„Please no Sybil! Please! This was my masterpiece! You can‘t kill it!“  
I sighed.   
„Dude we gotta defeat this portrait somehow tho, chillax.“  
But he started crying as well and I knew I couldn‘t slash the painting.  
„I have an idea!“, Rarity Twist suddenly yelled.  
We all looked at him.  
„We could just... magic the painting to age very very fast and then eventually it will die of age and Dorian will die too!“  
The painting gasped, Dorian was still to much occupied with sobbing to realize what was going on.   
I pointed my wand at the painting and uttered a very long an complicated spell that quickens time, which is totally something that exists in the Harry Potter universe as I once read about it in a book about black magic which I had found in the restricted area of the library.   
The painting began to scream again and we watched in awe as it became older and older like in that one scene in Indiana Jones 3. eventually Dorian screamed once and when we looked at him we did what?  
We gasped! He looked suddenly very old and ugly and almost like a skeleton! It was impossible to recognize him, only the clothes and the rings on his fingers were proof that he was actually dorian. Suddenly Basil screamed lovingly.  
We looked at the painting and saw...   
it was beautiful again! It looked just like Dorian! But less arrogant! It was so beautiful and pretty that I remembered why i had love dorian once. But that was over... i had to let go...  
„Basil? Basil is that you? What happened?“, the painting muttered sexily and Basil ran forward to touch it‘s cheek.  
„Everything is alright Dorian, do not worry!“  
And he kissed the portrait‘s cheek! We all said: „awwwww“ and quietly went out if the room to leave Dorian and Basil in peace.  
„Okay... we have finished Dorian. Now let‘s destroy Voldyminty!“  
We all yayed and descended into the Dungeons to fight our last battle...


	11. Chapter 11〜ψ(｀∇´)ψ

It was superduper dark in the dungeons which really wasn´t it chief. But we had to save the school so we continued on, trying to whine as little as possible.   
„But how are we supposed to see him like this?, Someone asked, I dunno who.  
Suddenly FLutter bell yelled: „LUMOS“ and her wand exploded with light. Not literally though, it just began to glow like a glowstick. It was pretty neat,actually.   
We all thanked her and then continued on. Suddenly something rushed by immediately in front of us! I couldn´t really see it but there was something glittery or smth? But tbh, who tf else would be down here except for us and henry, it wasn´t like the coziest of places.  
„THAT MUST BE VOLDYMINTY“   
I screamed gothically and ran after the figure. THat was a really stupid idea bc the dungeons are a labyrinth and we didn´t know where we were going since we had just blindly followed this weird figure that might have also just been a bat but we were the heros so this should work out in the end.   
The figure flashed by several times and we followed, it didn‘t seem to notice although we were as loud as a flock of elephants, then suddenly we came out in a solitary corridor, at it‘s end a light shone. When we arrived there we saw…  
Another corridor but there was a solid stone street and inbetween patches of lava? in front of those were ramps which were rainbowcoloured and just at the beginning of this weird corridor stood 7 karts in front of a chequered line! The background looked exactly like the interior of an old, creepy castle, so kinda like Hogwarts.  
„This, I believe, is a Mario Kart stage.“, Raritiy Dash provided gothically.  
We all gasped.  
„But one Kart is missing! That means, that someone must have taken it already!“, I yelled sexily.  
„Yeahhh… i think Voldyminty prooobably designed this so he can maybe traverse the route without a kart…. so who took it?“  
Suddenly a big firework went off in the far distance, towards the end of the route! It spelled Dumblydore and we all gasped.  
„DUmblydore! He is already here! Let´s motor bitches!!“  
Luckily all of us were muggle borns, so we knew mario kart and how it worked. We jumped into the karts and began driving. it was a pretty easy route and actually an exact replica of Bowser´s castle, but the boring one, not the cool one with the short cut, so we didn´t really have a problem with navigation. don´t think Voldy ever really played Mario Kart because there were no bananas or shells which was kinda said cause I would have DESTROYYED my friends in this game, I´m a fucking CHAMPION but anyways we arrived at the battle arena pretty quickly.   
Dumblydore and Voldyminty were fighting with some kind of crucifix swords? they actually were just sticks but they pretended them to be swords.And Voldy didn´t look like Henry anymore, he wore his glittery suit and sunglasses.   
„Dumblydore, more like Dumblywhore am I right??? Thee art maybe the most powerful wizard of this age but i’m the most BEAUTIFUL one! DIEEEEEE“  
„Exacusah me whatt da fuqqqq Voldy??? You literally don even got a nose you fake goth! And your name sounds like a cough-drop!“  
I think they were trying to rap battle but their beats were practically non-existent and the lines didn’t even rhyme so idk mate.   
They swirled around and made super cool action movie moves and now and then flung expelliarmus and crucio or smth at the other, i didn´t really understand their spells but the wands seemed to have trouble as well because occassionally fireworks flew up into the sky and spelled out their names which usually happens when wands don´t understand you, Rarity Twist read that in hogwarts a history and told me so if this is wrong, dont at me.  
We watched them for a long time because Dumblydore didnt look like he needed help? I mean he WAS the greatest wizard of all times soo… also we were kinda lazy. Bur we had just run through dungeons and defeated Dorian Gray so go off I guess.  
But then… Dumblydore suddenly fell to the floor for some reason nd we all gasped, even Voldy. Then he laughed ethnically and raised his wand at DUmbly.  
„Now I will proceed to kill theeeee!“  
Oh no! We had to do something quickly or else Dumbly would die! I thought hard for a second and then decided to pretend to be Dorian?  
„uhhhh… henry, don´t thee rather want to take my clothés off and uhh… paint me?“  
My friends looked at me confusedly and I shrugged but Voldy immediatley looked over at us, all interested. Gross. This however gave Dumbly enough time to get up again and yell:  
„Abra Kadavra!!“At Voldy.  
„NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO“,  
Voldy screamed. We watched as the green flash travelled the distance between the caster and the receiver in slow-motion, it was too fast for voldy to escape tho and hit him right in the chest. He got flung up into the air, ten metres at least, then fell down in slowmotion and hit the ground hard.  
Voldyminty was dead!  
Hogwarts was saved!   
DUmblydore raised his fists into the air and screamed:  
„FUCCK YEAH“  
and then we all clapped.   
He came over to us and thanked me for helping, then gratned 50000 points to Hufflepuff, for each of us!  
We gasped again, this time statistically.  
Dumblydore promised to take better care with his gay crushes in the future because they very often turned evil and then jumped into a kart and cruised back into the school to eat some dinner.   
I looked at my friends and smiled.  
And once more Hogwarts was saved. 

We all decided to write a story about this and this is why you are reading this now and I would like to include the others but I couldn‘t get my hands on them and the only one that I got was by Rarity Dash and for some reason she just write Dorian x Basil smut? I dont even know. Smh.  
(It was really good tho)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. The trashfic I needed 2 weeks to complete. To the people who came this far: thank you so much, I‘m happy it was that entertaining!   
> Hope yall had a great time. I sure had.  
> Have a nice day.  
> Thanks for stopping by.  
> See you :)


End file.
